4th day of Mars

WOW! amazing. my life was in a "down-mode" these days. maybe it is cause by the spm fever things. and so, i don't feel quite right on my mind. all things just get crumble together and i don't know how to explain it. feeling and stuff, it is way too depressing. getting older and bigger with all the responsibilities. i think that i'm still not ready with it. obviously and so i don't talk too much about it, to prevent further effects. actually today and after this, i'll try not to make this place a dwelling place for my craps and all the "i'm stress, or down" thingy. well, we have to make our day and life as if there is no tomorrow. so, lets keep away those annoying and stupid things. k, just bring it on!

i think that most of us must have ever saw that disney trademark. right? well, for whoever had have seen those incredible movies, cartoon, were actually quite fortunate. especially to those who were born in the 90's. for me, whenever i ever had the chance to watch those cartoon back then, it would had made my day. i would felt so lucky, and plus, so excited. well, i'm a freak too. obviously my family is the moderate kind, we don't have something that are so "high standard" and we'd been living so modest? maybe. though that they, my elders are both teachers. other teacher usually would live their life so grand. but they didn't and so i'm used to it. as if that we are poor people but, i'd never get any biasiswa or scholarship when i'm studying. though i look like the unfortunate. tak la sgt kesian, biasa. but these make me use to being thankful. maybe we never thought about being thankful for everything as we never lose something. but why do we have to realize things just after we lost them? why don't we cherish them now instead? we never be thankful that we're able to watch tv or hear the radio, surf  the internet 24/7, and even able to differentiate some music notes. have you ever? people usually will be thankful whenever they are given something valuable like some presents. now, here i got something to share,

  

  

cute isn't? well this is actually the real headline: 8 month old baby hearing his mother’s voice for the first time with cochlear implant. you didn't realize it, have you? the wire things attached to his ear? see, have you ever imagine how are you going to live your life without hearing sound? or even without seeing a thing? thanks God, he could hear from now onward. we, the fortunate people keep on grumbling about all the thing in our life. but how about these unfortunate people? you might feel sad and realize something for now, but it maybe because of the cute boy. what if we met some old people on the road and so, will you be so considering? or even feel sad? i admit that i'd never thought of it and even, nowadays there are just too much liars. so, we can't do better than we aught to. so, i think that when we realize it and be thankful in our life, it would just be quite fine. we can strive for perfection but whatever it is when we are being thankful, all things happen in our life will be such a blessing. we never feel sad too much and vice versa. 

i admit that i'm not that good as a human as well. back in 2011, my dad went to take me home from the school for once. on friday, a day before he came, it was the day we should be going back home but the ship/express ferry going to my hometown was on-repair. and so, i went back to the school. and then, i phoned my parents telling them that i'm not going home for the weekend. i didn't told them to come and fetch me. never. but surprisingly, my dad came in the saturday morning and i was totally shocked. i packed my stuff and went back with him. i was thinking, "it was such a waste of time and money. i'll be going to school tomorrow too.". but when i asked him about it, he answered,"you'll go back on monday. we have give bearer at church.". well, though i knew that it was not a very good excuse. will the teacher approve my delay coming back to school? but i kept it to myself. then, to my surprise, we were waiting for the bus and i asked him, "why didn't you call for the taxi?". "no, just the bus.". he answered. it wouldn't be a troublesome for me, as i'm used to it, but to board the bus with my dad. was totally awkward. when i was at school then, i told my friends about it, about my frustration of my dad's action of not letting car or boarding the taxis, then one of my friend alex told me one, for me a wonder that came out from his mouth and thought. "your father feel the same thing like you do.". and i was silent there after. he is true. i should be thankful. he actually want to feel how i feel when i usually board the bus. well, they weren't 5 star buses to begin with. life isn't that simple and you know it. so we just have to see things differently. k, then~

"i stay online just to wait for you guys. every time you sign on, my heart lights up. every time you sign off, my heart sinks. wishing for the day when you would sign on and talk to me, rather than just neglecting my presence. it was totally hurting."