now i get it.

hello guys. i slept too much today. and when i woke up it was 2am already and and and you know, my tutorials aren't complete yet. well... and i checked on my phone. nothing. no one need me i guest. hahaha. im useless didn't i? and that's why im just some kind of annoying things to them. idk. it's just that sometime, do you like it when people see you like they are belittle you? seeing you as if you're completely nothing. i don't know. maybe they like it that way? and i'd an idea to make lots of experiments on my friends' attitude and style but sadly i would say, the outcome are terribly frustrating.  is that a friend? im wondering til that my head went up bursting. btw, im sorry if im too much but you guys kill my soul completely. to the extent that i i i i i sivjbsgbsjboeivbsbobsibsib.

its just that sometime we really believe in happy-ending story. that we really want it to really happen in our life. it's hard to find a true friend really. a friend in need is a friend indeed? so hard to find one. i have lots of friends here and they help me in all kind of ways. but sometimes or for most of the time some just being too much. and i really don;t get it. why some who are not even close, help me better than those who are so-call close to me? i dont get it. remember me telling "excepting without reasons?". i think that reason is used here. i realy don't get it. really. mun org lain, tolong bukan main lagi. mintak chicken wing bagi drumstick lagi. tapi kawan? i just asked simple questions kot. as they had answered them all. "easy" they said. so if i ask you will never help me is it? sampai jawab soalan tutorial minggu depan lagi. advanced. bravo! tahniah! and here you kill me. was it so hard to help me? i was just asking. i really need help. that's all. and "siapa suruh kw tak buat dgn aku semalam.". do you like that kind of answer? i haven't done anything yet, but ask me to stay there to do my job and they watch movies etc.. while i was trying so hard to answer those bloody tutorial. i endured it tho. i'd tried. but the way  they treat me were so disheartened. am i just some trash? org yg korang tak kenal pun korang layan baik. this is the first time i'm truly annoyed in pasum. 

i know that i'm not so intelligent. im stupid in a way. and i know thats why they kinda hate me maybe? but i just want to say that tho you guys treat me that way, i still endure it though. i have always been. no matter how annoyed i am. so give me some time. i can take your lackness. but you guys can't. im sensitive. you're insensitive. no one will ever understand unless you have the same problems.

so, i went and search for help like an eagle. and they helped me. about sincerity and insincerity. i don't care it anymore. and before i forget it. all of them already changed their number. obviously. none reply my text anymore. you bring it on people. you'd bring it on. challenge accepted. i'll never used my credit for you guys too. waste of money too. and now i get it. i'll forget.