outing with le specs.

right. haha what did i do today? i have a day out with my fellow edc. haha just the three of us actually. farhan n neo. it was enjoyable really. put aside all the stress matters that are haunting me. and the best part of it was that id never feel like being myself for a very long time. the new me is just too, you know, depressing. being with people who actually understand you. and even understand what you actually meant. no need of rephrasing your sentences to make people get what you're saying. no need to taking care of people' heart. "if you curse your best friend  they'll just curse you back with humour". that's what i like. haha. but yeah i went attending mass tho this morning. alone. neo went yesterday already. and he didn't tell me but it is okay as he went with his girlfriend, i think. so privacy is important. but the lesson that i get? when you want to find a great friend, wait until you fall into a crisis or having a problem. the one who is there to be with you to help, is unpredictably the one you should appreciate as a friend. not some bunch of never-understand-good-looking-people. but i'm sad. y? i thought they're great fellas. but none care about me. but i think i'll just sacrifice it. i really have to keep on trying and study. no matter what it is

now. its a day before christmas people!! im suppose to be excited okay. at the very least. since we the one who actually need to be home now rather than those who don't. dorang lak yg balik melebih lebih. haha. while we stay here. i was watching lots of videos on youtube about christmas. songs. and then i found some videos of children singin, playing, having fun on christmas. then all the memories come to life. i remember once my sisters took a video of me singin and dancing a song i forgot what song but it was en-joyful. and to be honest. i really miss being me. i'm suppose to be the happy go lucky kinda person. where did i go? i laughed all the time at home before. i didn't complain. procastinate. no i did't. i really miss that. and i think i was a quite lovely boy back then. i never make any problems with my siblings. i think. and thats why i have it now i guess. i really have to search for myself back. be me again. help me.