stay calm and feed the cats

well i think i'd been away for too long haha. but actually no. id always been here but always don't know what to write. it feels like i don't have enough bytes in my brain to add in non-educational stuffs. am i saying that i'm not freely expressing myself? maybe. and maybe not haha. i'm not sure. or is it because i'm being more involve socially in the real life? maybe. well i think i talk too much with my roommate. i think.  

i have to admit that i'm actually quite busy. apart from studying, i did lots of college activities that actually really are not my things. really. and it hurts to see me, changing this far just to get place in college next semester, which i think is quite irrelevant. and though i think that i joined too many things, that even my family think that "you better watch out for your final", i still didn't get much marks compared to some that get more than hundred in one semester. crazy right? i only get about 20 something. like seriously. well i sensed some trickery there but well, i just don't have enough bytes to think for that. i'll just wait and see whether i'll stay in college or not next sem. to be honest i feel quite lunatic involving myself to these. like my mind isn't syncing with the whole community. i feel weird. whenever i go around with my begs and books, while the other are doing sports, i feel like, "mann why am i not playing? i should follow them." while the reason we're here is to get my bachelor degree. and the most craziest thing that make me feel sick is that, where do these people get their time? like i have too many assignments and test, that i even sleep late sometimes to finish them, while they play soccer till midnight.

well the answer is, they're from different faculty. and they will never understand and they'll always judge. this is the world i'm living in. i can deal with this. stay calm and feed the cats. ciao