We Can't Always See Where The Road Leads

Final year project? - Done
Final year final sem exam? - Done
Thesis hardbound? - Done!

Could you believe it? I think up till now I'm still not really sure if I can believe this. What left is for me to undergo my internship for 3 months before graduation in mid-November.  "If" I didn't fail in any of my subjects *fingercross*. After all the struggle and dramas *wink* happened during my two semesters of my final year in my degree journey. It feels surreal. And when I'm being me, as always, I don't know what to do next, or should I say I don't really have a particular goal for what I want in life. 

I plan everything that I need to do every day according to priority and impact factors, thanks to my planner and my to-do list apps in my smartphone. And I do have a goal in life, but my goals are a bit too abstract and subjective. One of my goals is to make my family happy. See? That's the problem. I'd been thinking so much about this for the last few months, thinking about my priority and life goals. I figured out that I'm a family-oriented person to the core. I can't deny that I do have my own selfish intention in life but I just couldn't let go of my responsibilities. Am I too young to think about this? Sometimes it drops me dead on the couch thinking. Watching my friends being happy-go-lucky every day, although I'm aware most people have financial and personal problems of their own. But how about responsibility?

When I asked some of my friends about their future career and whether or not they are willing to work somewhere else, not in their hometown. Some of them actually didn't even care. This made me wonder about the responsibility and financial issues. How can fresh graduates survive current economy condition? Let me give you a scenario. I was born in Limbang, which is the northern part of Sarawak. Not really an industrial city, but a nice town where my home is. Currently, I'm studying bachelor degree in resource biotechnology which is all about research and development, emerging crucial branch or life science. But let me get to the point. Job opportunities? Very few available in Sarawak, which mostly in Bintulu and Kuching. With new fresh graduates coming in every year, while there is so little job opening. Imagine if I'm lucky enough to secure myself a job right after graduating with basic salary for fresh grad, I still have my family to take care of, my old mom and family properties which mean, I need to go back to my hometown regularly. I will need a total of 4 flights to and fro for each traveling. Can I save any for that? How about other expenses? Food, groceries, rent? I won't be able to keep any saving for any emergency. But if I don't work somewhere else, where would I work with my current qualification that I work and studied so hard for? And yet my friends still thinking about "couple life goals" and getting married.